Paul Szmal: Good morning, it's 816. It's FLX Morning Wednesday. A frequent visitor to this program with Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes, coordinator of the LGBTQ Plus program, Emily White is with us. Good morning.
Emily White: Good morning, Ted. How are you?
Paul Szmal: I'm doing well.
This is not a political conversation, so if you don't want to address this, I understand, but do you want to say anything about the passage of Proposition 1?
Emily White: Yes, right. This isn't a political conversation. But I do want to say that as the coordinator of the LGBTQ program, we are very grateful for our protections, for our rights being put into anti-discrimination law here in this state. This is something we're very grateful for on a day like today.
Paul Szmal: You offer a wide variety of services for the community. Let me start with this. Let's take an example. A teenage girl, age 17, decides to make the decision to come out. What are some of the first questions they have and things they need?
Emily White: So what I would say is, you know, somebody who is discovering these parts of themselves and are noticing that they're different than the rest of their peers is that a lot of people are thinking that they're the only person who has ever felt this way and that they'll never be able to connect with other people in the same ways that their peers can. They might have questions about, you know, who can they turn to? Who can they, you know, talk to about these things? And, you know, how to establish, you know, your own life and an identity that you're not really familiar with. And it's really integral that there is support around that and that we know how to talk to our friends, our peers, our family members, our children about their feelings and their identity.
Paul Szmal: You offer support groups and that's one of the greatest things you can have because there's nothing more comforting than being around people that are going through or have gone through what you are. So talk about some of the support groups.
Emily White: Yeah, thank you, Ted. So here at Family Counseling Service, we have three dedicated LGBTQ support groups. We do have a youth group for anyone LGBTQ identified ages 10 to 17. It's called YANA. YANA stands for You Are Not Alone. And we meet virtually on Zoom every Monday at 4 o'clock. It's for anybody. So we serve five different counties, Ontario, Wayne, Seneca, Yates, and Monroe. But really, if you're in a county, if you're in a state even that does not have an LGBTQ advocacy program, we would be more than happy to, you know, do an intake, send you the Zoom link, and invite you to join because the messaging is so true. You are not alone.
We also have two adult groups. Haven is for anybody LGBTQ identified over the age of 18 and that means hybrid. So we meet in person at our Geneva office and there's also a Zoom link for people who can't make it in person. That meets the second and fourth Thursday at 5 o'clock. This is for, you know, anybody who is looking for other people in their community. We do a lot of activities, games, getting to know each other. It's really a casual environment to be around people who get it.
And then our third support group is the Transgender and Gender Expansive Coalition of the Finger Lakes. We call this Trans and GE. And essentially this is for anybody trans or gender non-conforming who's looking for extra emotional support. This is a very straightforward traditional support group where we're processing feelings, we're talking about the lived experience of being trans, especially in rural areas like the ones we live in. This is really about, you know, finding support and connection with each other. And yeah, and that's also hybrid. That meets the second and fourth Wednesday of every month at 6 p.m.
Paul Szmal: And that's, you led into what I want to talk about next, someone making the decision to undergo gender transition. Now you need not only support, but you need quality medical care as well. What's available in New York State, and how do you help these individuals find it?
Emily White: That's a really great question. So, you know, a lot of people when they're looking for, you know, support around that, we have advocates in all five counties that we serve that will meet with you, go over your options, ask you what you're looking for. You know, a lot of times obtaining gender-affirming care can be really tricky depending on what insurance carrier you have, what you're looking for. And so our advocates do a really good job, you know, networking throughout the entire state to find the best medical provider for you and what resources you already have. And then if you're looking to, you know, know more about what the process is like, you know, like in person. At our support group at Trans and GE, a lot of our participants discuss their experiences, people who have already been through this process, and they can offer not just their wisdom of going through that process already, but really offering that support and connection for people who are looking for that.
Paul Szmal: I always like to kind of take the temperature when we have these conversations. Are you seeing attitudes toward the LGBTQ plus community coming around? Is there some progress being made in terms of, okay, I'm a person, you're a person, no big deal?
Emily White: You know, that's a very good question. I think I would say overall, yes. In the work that we do, we're seeing a lot of people who maybe haven't, you know, engaged with a lot of, you know, LGBTQ people before who are, you know, who haven't really like thought about it too much, but they are, you know, really looking at, you know, the impact of people all over the county, all over the state. They're meeting people who are coming out, their children are coming out. I would say that the best example of this is the amount of participation we've had in our FLX Pride festivals. Yeah. Over the past few years, we've seen the attendance and the requests for people to volunteer only go up year after year.
Paul Szmal: Talking with Emily White, the LGBTQ plus program coordinator with Family Counseling Services at the Finger Lakes, fcsfl.org, and click the link and you can find all these services.
Very often we deal with multiple issues. Here's another one, and that is an LGBTQ plus victim of crime. You need legal representation, you need help steering through the legal process, but again, you also need someone who understands.
Emily White: That's very true, and, you know, what our advocates will tell you is that, you know, navigating these systems is really hard for victims of crime, and I would say that that is especially so for LGBTQ victims. Our LGBTQ advocates are really good emotional support figures and really good at connecting people to those legal resources. I would love to give a shout out to the Cornell Gender Justice Clinic and are always our partners at LAWNY.
Paul Szmal: Wow, and also another legal issue that pops up is a name change. You offer assistance there. Is that a difficult process to do in New York?
Emily White: I am very grateful to say that here in New York State it is much easier after the year 2021. Here in New York State we used to have an old outdated law that required a publication clause. This was from the 1840s, actually, to catch people who were changing their name after taking out a bunch of loans so that they wouldn't have to repay their debt. And this stayed in place, you know, from up from the 1840s until 2021, which I think is a pretty good idea if you're, you know, looking to catch somebody, you know, in the 1840s. But what this law does is when you change your name unrelated to marriage, you would have to publish your old name in the trans community, this is your dead name, and then your new name and your address in the local paper.
You know, up until, you know, 2021, I would say the past, you know, like 20-25 years, we're not doing a lot of crime fighting, you know, in the classifieds. We have access to resources like Google and this really was an outdated law that really existed just to make it harder for trans people to change their name. Anyone who has ever threatened to harm you now has all of that personal and sensitive information. Since that law has been eradicated in 2021, it's been a lot easier. Our advocates will walk you through that process, can help you apply to have your fees waived, and also help update your gender marker after, and your name on your birth certificate after the name change goes through.
Paul Szmal: Again, if you go to fcsfl.org, the website for Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes, you'll see the link for all these services and lots more for people of all types. And we didn't have time to get into it this time, maybe in another conversation. Services for the loved ones of the community who aren't quite sure what to say and what to do and what not to say and what not to do.
Emily, thanks. Always great to talk with you. Keep your chin up and keep doing the great things you're doing.
Emily White: Thank you, Ted. Have a great rest of your day.
