Paul Szmal: And FLX Morning continues now at 8.15, we are at 64. And joining me on the line now is Jennifer Cox, she's a therapist from Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes. Jennifer, good morning, how are you this morning?
Jennifer Cox: I'm happy to be here, good morning.
Paul Szmal: Glad to have you here this morning and well, I hate to say the words back to school because I know that probably raises not only fears for children, but probably fears for adults. But specifically today, we want to talk about kindergartners and preschoolers who may be heading to school for the first time.
Jennifer Cox: Absolutely, this is such a huge transition period for families. And what do you think the biggest challenge is for a youngster who is going, and then for the parent who is sending? So, I know when we're thinking about sending our kids to school, we're excited about all the things they're going to learn academically, reading and writing and arithmetic, as they used to say. But for our preschoolers and kindergartners, especially who this is going to be their first time entering the academic setting, the skills that they're going to be introduced to the most that they haven't had the chance to practice in the same way at home, include some very specific skills around emotion regulation, time management and pro social skills.
Even if you have a large family at home, this is going to be your little one's first time having to practice these skills in a setting where they're not the only little one. In fact, there could be as many as 25 same aged peers. So one of the things you can do as a parent to prep for this transition is take the weeks leading up to this point, going through your day to day routine with your kid and recognizing where are some areas that I could help prepare my child for sharing this time with a whole group of other same aged peers.
Let's start with an example of emotion regulation. Your child going to school for the first time is going to be asked to do things that they don't know how to do there. That's how you learn if you get exposed to something you don't know how to do. So a big skill that they will have to do a lot at school is frustration regulation as they recognize that they're not immediately good at something.
So you can start introducing some skills and some vocabulary at home around things like it's okay to not get it right the first time, let's try again, deep breath, practice something called rainbow breathing is very popular in our local school districts. I've noticed a lot of kindergarten classes using that as something where you encourage your child to lift their hands in an arc over their head to help open up the lungs and take a really deep breath in.
Time management skills is another thing you're going to want your child to start practicing. Do they know how to finish their lunch within 25 minutes, for example? In kindergarten, they're only going to get a set amount of time to finish their lunch or a task. They're going to be expected to switch from something to something else because the clock says it's time to. Have you practiced that with your own child at home? Have you practiced, okay, now that it's three o'clock, it's time to stop doing that and start doing this.
And then in terms of those pro social skills, it's a little hard to practice this when you don't have 25 same age peers in your own house, but you could start with reading books at bedtime that feature groups of children and asking your child questions like, what are they feeling on this page? Or what's something you would like to say to them? And just introducing the idea into their minds that they are going to be interacting with other kids the same age.
Paul Szmal: Do you think there's an advantage to children that go to preschool before they go to kindergarten?
Jennifer Cox: I think it depends on every child. Obviously, every child is unique, every child develops differently. I can speak from my own family's example that I have a child who is on the autism spectrum. And starting with that half day preschool program, going through a full day preschool program, and then going to kindergarten was huge for my child being able to learn and practice these skills before settling into the bigger academic setting. Some kids adapt very quickly. Some kids, it is a huge benefit to have those extra years learning these skills in an environment where that's just a little bit less expectation.
Paul Szmal: I think one of the important things that you've alluded to is the establishment of a routine, a basic daily routine. If that starts at home, that can easily be transferred over to kindergarten or to preschool.
Jennifer Cox: Absolutely. This is huge for every child. Routine gives your child a sense of stability, it gives you a sense of not having to rush into changing expectations. I think I can speak for every parent that there's nothing more stressful than realizing that your child is happy doing what they're doing right now. And now you have to get them to stop and go brush their teeth or another task that they don't enjoy doing.
If you have a regularly established routine that both you and your child have learned to rely on, it becomes much less of a power struggle for you as an adult. And it becomes more of a chance of your own child to practice their own time management skills. If you haven't been having a routine up to this point, and you're feeling nervous about starting to instill a regular routine at home, that's totally understandable. It is a big transition period. Sometimes some kids will see it as an infringement on the freedom they've been experiencing. And it's normal to get a little bit of pushback. But the more you stick to it, the more worth it is in the end.
And you can do things like make your own visual guide to hang up on the family wall so that everyone knows what to refer back to. And I think the establishment of that routine also can help with dealing with the frustration skills that you talked about. Because if you're used to doing things in a certain time window, you're going to be a little bit less frustrated when you wind up going and doing the same thing in a school setting.
Paul Szmal: Exactly. Your child is going to be expected to maintain a routine pretty much for the next 13 years minimum that they don't get to have a lot of stay in. You can practice at home demonstrating how that routine helps them accomplish everything they need to accomplish. And the benefit at home is you can then implement some aspects of your home life and family life that are really important to your youth to show them how a routine can help them protect that time.
So for example, I have a nighttime routine with my child that we track on a visual chart and my child knows that if she accomplishes each of the steps within the time frame that is allowed, it leads up to her favorite time of the nighttime routine, which is her bedtime stories.
Jennifer Cox: Okay. And Jennifer Cox joining us from Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes here on FLX Morning as we continue talking about getting your kids ready for kindergarten or preschool or both in some cases. There's also the thing that may come up here that's important, which is possibly starting to see the signs that your child is going to require some special education.
Paul Szmal: Yes. So this is something I'm very passionate about. I want every parent in our region to know that if you at any point suspect that your child might require accommodations in the classroom, even if you're not sure what kind, if you have any suspicion whatsoever, you are allowed to write a letter to your school district requesting an IEP and 504 evaluation as protected by your child's legal rights through IDEA, I-D-E-A, that's the Individualized Education Act that protects all children's rights to access to education that matches their developmental needs.
If you write this letter and submit it to your school district, they are legally not allowed to tell you, no, they have to complete an evaluation. Now the results of the evaluation may determine whether or not they do implement an IEP, which is called an Individualized Education Plan or a 504 plan, which is, it provides some accommodations in the school, but is just a little bit less stringent than an IEP. If the evaluation says that your child doesn't need that level of intervention, it might guide them to a lesser level of intervention instead, but I need all parents to know, you have the right to advocate for your child and request these assessments to determine the most appropriate level of accommodation for your child.
Your school district is not allowed to tell you that they are not going to complete that evaluation. If you need help writing these types of letters, or if you're not sure where to start, I highly recommend going to your library and stating, I'd like to learn more about IDEA and IEP requests, or if you Google it yourself, you will find template letters online, but please know that you are your child's strongest advocate and your child has the legal right to what accommodations they need to get the same quality of education as every other student.
Paul Szmal: Well put, and a great period to put on the conversation. Jennifer, thank you so much for joining us this morning.
Jennifer Cox: I am thrilled to be here. Thank you so much, as always, for your time. It is 825 on FLX Morning.
