Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes runs a domestic violence accountability program that takes a markedly different approach than most — one built on motivational interviewing and empathy rather than shame and punishment.
Mario Telarico, a domestic violence victim advocate with the organization, joined FLX Morning on April 2 to explain how the program works and why its results stand out from more traditional models.
The program is a 12-week, closed-group curriculum — meaning participants stay together for the full course without new members rotating in or out. Most participants are referred through the courts or probation departments. Over those 12 weeks, Telarico and his colleagues provide domestic violence education while also working to identify and address specific behavioral deficits that can lead to violent or controlling behavior.
“A lot of people use violence as a way to establish control,” Telarico said. “They perceive unrealistic threats and overvalue aggressive responses to those threats.” He described a three-part breakdown: how people decode situations as hostile, a lack of skills to respond appropriately, and a lack of confidence to execute better responses.
What sets the program apart is its rejection of the so-called Duluth model — a widely used curriculum that Telarico described as more finger-wagging and shame-based. Instead, the Finger Lakes program uses motivational interviewing, asking participants whether they want to change, what they might do differently, and what their reasons are for change. Facilitators work to build trust and avoid re-traumatization.
The results back up the approach. Telarico cited a 66% reduction in interpersonal violence among participants, along with a notable side effect: reduced substance use disorder symptoms.
Telarico shared one success story — a participant who disclosed a history of violence and deeply hostile views toward women. By midway through the program, the man tried a “time out” technique and returned to a calm conversation with his partner. “He broke down and realized it’s not only his trauma at the table,” Telarico said.
For more information about the accountability program, contact program director Crystal Bram at Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes by calling 680-215-7212 or visiting fcfsl.org.